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THE
QUICK WAY TO LOSE
TEN POUNDS:
Paula Jones showed
off her nose job
on "PrimeTime
Live'' on ABC.
"I just said I
wanted a normal
nose to match
my face, and he
said 'Trust me,'
and I said, 'OK,'"
Mrs. Jones said.
"Now they can
see my whole face.
The whole me..."
|
... He's learned his lesson about exposing what's in your briefs...
...
Probably
Clinton,
so he
can say
he doesn't
recognize
her in
court...
...
Sadly, there's
nothing
left to
release
that hasn't
been leaked
already...
...
It's
not
that
painful
anymore,
and
she's
used
to feeling
a prick
on her
face...
...
I
know
when
I
hear
the
story
and
look
at
Paula,
I
gag...
...
In
fact
O.J.
says
that
if
he'd
just
killed
her
he
could
get
away
with
no
jail
time
at
all...
...
Let's
hope
she
doesn't
get
her
causes
mixed
up,
or
Clinton
could
be
delivering
his
next
State
of
the
Union
speech
in
a
very
high
voice...
...
And
Paula
owes
them
several
hundred
thousand
of
them...
...
Hey,
she's
got
a
new
make-over,
fixed
teeth,
she
flies
to
correspondents'
dinners
in
Washington
--
if
anything,
Clinton
has
made
her
life
BETTER...
...
When
they
boo
you
more
than
Sharon
Stone,
you
know
you're
in
trouble...
...
Hey
ladies
-
better
check
your
bosses
voter
registration
before
you
so
into
a
room
alone
with
him.
If
he's
a
Democrat
-
it's
open
season!
...
Bill
Clinton
tried
to
gag
her
enough
already...
PAULA
LOSES HER
HOOK:
Paula Jones
apparently
had a $9,000
rhinoplasty
(nose job)
at the Park
Avenue office
of New York
plastic
surgeon
Dr. Thomas
Loeb, according
to both
The New
York Post
and New
York Daily
News. The
Post, citing
unidentified
sources,
said the
money for
the operation
came from
an anonymous
donor...
UNSEALED
WITH A KISS-OFF:
U.S. District
Judge Susan
Webber Wright
ordered most
of the court
filings in
Paula Jones'
sexual-harassment
lawsuit against
President
Clinton unsealed
- but will
give the case's
principals
ten days to
appeal...
HERE'S
A NEW
ONE -
PAULA
IS ASKING
SOMEBODY
ELSE FOR
A JOB:
Star magazine
reports
that Paula
Jones
has lined
up a renowned
New York
plastic
surgeon,
Dr. Thomas
Loeb,
to give
her a
nose job...
JUDGE
LIKES
PAULA
TO
REMAIN
TIGHT-LIPPED:
In
Little
Rock,
Ark.,
U.S.
District
Judge
Susan
Webber
Wright
is
reconsidering
her
decision
to
close
files
and
impose
a
gag
order
in
Paula
Jones'
sexual
harassment
lawsuit
against
President
Clinton.
Acting
on
orders
from
an
appeals
court,
Wright
gave
media
lawyers
until
June
19
to
persuade
her
that
privacy
concerns
aren't
strong
enough
for
her
to
maintain
a
confidentiality
order
in
the
case...
O.J.
CUTS
UP:
Bill
Clinton
has
one
defender
whose
support
he
may
not
be
seeking
-
O.J.
Simpson.
It
seems
the
President
has
Simpson's
sympathy
in
the
Paula
Jones
and
Monica
Lewinsky
scandals.
"If
it's
true
what
happened
to
Paula
Jones,
simply
for
hitting
on
a
dog
like
her,
he
should
do
30
days.
Other
than
that,
I
don't
think
it's
anybody's
business,"
Simpson
told
the
Weekly
Standard's
Matt
Labash...
PAULA'S
MOUTHPIECE?
CLINTON
WANTS
TO
MEET
HER:
Susan
Carpenter-McMillan,
spokesperson
for
Paula
Jones,
promises
she
"will
always
be
there
for
Paula
to
defend
her
and
be
her
friend,"
but
is
now
returning
to
her
other
beloved
cause
--
chemical
castration
for
child
molesters...
PAULA
STILL
REFUSING
TO
ROLL
OVER:
Paula
Corbin
Jones
has
filed
a
four-page
notice
of
appeal
with
the
8th
U.S.
Circuit
Court
of
Appeals
in
St.
Louis,
challenging
the
April
1
decision
to
throw
out
her
sexual
harassment
case.
Her
attorneys
say
they
have
strong
reasons
why
the
suit
should
resume...
WHAT
DID
PAULA
EAT
--
THE
CROW?
Paula
Jones,
the
woman
who
accused
President
Clinton
of
sexual
harassment,
shared
the
spotlight
with
him
at
a
star-studded
dinner
Saturday
night.
Movie
stars
Sharon
Stone,
Michael
Douglas
and
Warren
Beatty
were
among
the
entertainment
luminaries
attending
the
event.
As
Jones
passed
through
the
ornate
lobby
of
the
Hilton
Hotel,
several
hundred
people,
including
tuxedo
clad
and
sequined-gowned
guests,
booed
loudly...
THEY'RE
CHANGING
THEIR
NAME
FROM
"NOW"
TO
"LATER:"
The
National
Organization
for
Women
said
it
would
not
file
a
brief
in
support
of
Paula
Jones'
sexual
harassment
case
against
President
Clinton.
NOW
president
Patricia
Ireland
said
Jones
was
being
backed
by
"disreputable
right
wing
organizations,
who
themselves
have
a
longstanding
political
interest
in
undermining
our
movement
to
strengthen
women's
rights
and
weakening
the
laws
that
protect
those
rights..."
YOU
DON'T
OFTEN
SEE
THE
WORDS
"PAULA
JONES"
AND
"APPEAL"
IN
THE
SAME
SENTENCE:
Paula
Jones
has
decided
to
appeal
a
federal
judge's
dismissal
of
her
sexual
harassment
case
against
the
president.
Meanwhile,
a
federal
appeals
court
ordered
the
judge
in
Paula
Jones'
sexual
harassment
case
against
President
Clinton
to
reconsider
her
gag
order...
"How will I celebrate the legal victory? I plan to sit quietly in my hotel room, do a little reading, and ponder life's strange twists and turns before having a glass of warm milk, saying a little prayer, and climbing into bed for a long, restful night of solitary sleep." |
...Let me get this straight: President Clinton was charged with whipping it out and the case was thrown out for lack of evidence? These jokes are writing themselves...
... Apparently Clinton saw something different in her case five years ago...
... This just in -- Paula is now suing the judge for ruining her chances for career advancement...
...
"NOW
BRING
ON
THE
RECEPTIONISTS
FROM
DOWNSTAIRS!!!"
...
If
Paula
had
appeal,
maybe
the
judge
could
have
bought
her
case
a
little
easier...
...
First
stop,
to
buy
a
lock
for
his
zipper...
...
Jones'
lawyers
immediately
accused
Wright
of
having
sex
with
President
Clinton...
...
Clinton's
the
one
that
keeps
taking
out
the
trash...
...
In
two
hundred
years
the
presidential
motto
has
gone
from
"I
cannot
tell
a
lie"
to
"I
cannot
take
a
lie
detector
test..."
Reporter
David
Brock,
apologizing
for
the
Troopergate
scandal:
Does
he
work
for
"The
American
Spectator"
or
"Mad?"
...
Apparently
the
information
was
learned
in
a
series
of
oral
interviews,
and
he
now
believes
that
oral
doesn't
count...
...
So
this
former
receptionist
has
earned
$100,000,
got
a
free
make-over,
and
has
been
offered
hundreds
of
thousands
more
to
pose
in
magazines.
It's
terrible
how
Clinton
has
ruined
her
life...
...
It
was
held
out
there
for
a
brief
period
of
time,
then
the
president
withdrew
it?
So
what's
new?
Meanwhile,
in
a
sealed
deposition
in
late
1997,
Paula
Jones
added
new
details
to
her
account
of
being
propositioned
by
President
Clinton
in
1991
when
he
was
governor
of
Arkansas,
The
Washington
Post
reported.
The
newspaper
said
Jones,
interviewed
under
oath
as
part
of
her
lawsuit,
claimed
Clinton
momentarily
stopped
her
from
opening
a
door
when
she
tried
to
leave
the
hotel
suite
where
they
met.
She
also
revised
her
original
description
of
the
advance
to
say
that
Clinton
tried
to
kiss
her
twice
and
that
when
he
put
his
hand
under
her
culottes
he
tried
to
reach
her
crotch...
...
Another
glad-handing
politician...
...
Whether
Clinton
or
this
woman
is
lying,
we've
still
got
an
exposed
Willey
to
deal
with...
...
The
other
2000
claim
it
was
just
ORAL
sex...
...
To
paraphrase
James
Carville,
it's
amazing
who
you
can
sleep
with
when
you
wave
a
hundred
dollar
bill
through
a
trailer
park...
...
Now
that
Lewinsky
is
out
of
the
White
House,
he
should
have
plenty
of
extra
time...
...
You
know
Clinton's
in
deep
trouble
when
the
only
way
to
distract
the
public
from
the
latest
sex
scandal
is
by
bringing
up
Paula
Jones...
...
Was
that
"postion
at
the
mission"
or
"missionary
position...?"
...
How
can
Starr
keep
the
two
cases
straight?
One
deal
involves
buying
private
land,
and
one
involves
squatting
on
government
property...
...
One
good
job
performed
for
the
government
leads
to
another...
...
Hillary
wasn't
present
--
then
again
he's
NEVER
hit
on
her...
IT
AIN'T
OVER
'TIL
THE
FAT
PRESIDENT
SINGS:
Matt
Drudge
reported
that
video
footage
shot
by
a
news
crew
through
an
open
hotel
window
where
President
Clinton
was
staying
in
Dakar,
Sengal,
showed
the
president
dancing
around,
smoking
a
cigar,
and
banging
an
African
drum
hours
after
judge
threw
out
the
sex
case...
WRIGHT
WING
CONSPIRACY:
The
conservative
foundation
that
is
financing
the
Paula
Jones
sexual
harassment
lawsuit
against
President
Clinton,
the
tax-exempt
Rutherford
Institute,
says
it
will
appeal
the
judge's
decision
to
end
the
suit.
In
a
statement
from
its
headquarters
in
Charlottesville,
they
announced,
"We
will
appeal
this
decision
to
the
8th
(U.S.)
Circuit
Court
of
Appeals
immediately,
and
confidently
seek
redress
for
Mrs.
Jones's
grievances
for
as
long
as
necessary,
even
to
the
Supreme
Court
of
the
United
States...''
HOW
MUCH
DID
THE
JUDGE
COST?
With
a
huge
legal
embarrassment
lifted
from
his
presidency,
President
Clinton
celebrated
the
dismissal
of
Paula
Jones'
sexual
harassment
lawsuit
by
going
on
a
celebratory
shopping
spree
with
Hillary...
GAGGING
THE
GAG
ORDER:
Judge
Susan
Webber
Wright
warned
lawyers
on
both
sides
of
the
Paula
Jones
mess
to
stop
discussing
the
lives
of
women
who
are
alleged
to
have
had
sexual
relations
with
Clinton.
She
warned
lawyers
that
they
would
be
hit
with
sanctions
if
they
persisted,
and
also
indicated
that
she
would
rule
soon
on
Clinton's
motion
for
summary
dismissal...
CAN
WE
EXPECT
THIS
TO
BE
RECYCLED
IN
A
GORE
ADMINISTRATION?
President
Clinton's
lawyer
called
Paula
Jones'
sexual
harassment
suit
"garbage"
and
asked
an
Arkansas
court
to
toss
it
out...
IT'S
A
BULL
MARKET
--
EVEN
THOUGH
CLINTON
WAS
KIND
OF
BARE-ISH:
The
White
House
denied
a
rumor
on
Wall
Street
that
President
Clinton
was
going
to
take
a
polygraph
test
to
answer
sex
allegations
about
him.
The
rumor
appeared
to
have
little
impact
on
financial
markets
but
was
a
talking
point
among
bond
traders...
"WHAT,
ME
WORRY?"
BROCK-HEAD:
David
Brock,
a
reporter
whose
1993
magazine
article
set
the
Paula
Jones
sexual
harassment
lawsuit
in
motion,
apologized
to
President
Bill
Clinton
on
Monday,
saying
Clinton's
enemies
were
behind
the
story.
Brock,
whose
report
appeared
in
the
conservative
magazine
"American
Spectator,"
said
in
an
open
letter
to
Clinton
in
April's
edition
of
"Esquire"
magazine
that
Arkansas
state
troopers
who
maligned
Clinton's
character
were
motivated
by
anger
and
greed,
and
that
he
now
had
grave
doubts
about
their
credibility.
In
his
1993
story,
Brock
said
state
troopers
who
were
Clinton's
bodyguards
when
he
was
Arkansas'
governor
regularly
procured
women
for
extramarital
affairs
with
him...
NO
WONDER
SHE
WON'T
SETTLE
-
SHE'S
MAKING
TOO
MUCH
MONEY:
The
Chicago
Tribune
reported
that
Paula
Jones
is
receiving
money
from
a
fund
set
up
to
pay
legal
expenses
in
her
sexual
harassment
suit
against
President
Clinton.
About
$100,000
from
the
fund
has
gone
into
a
personal
account
controlled
by
Jones,
while
her
lawyers
haven't
received
any
of
the
money.
The
Paula
Jones
Legal
Fund
solicits
donations
through
a
direct
mail
campaign
and
an
Internet
site.
The
newspaper
said
Jones
has
been
dividing
the
revenues
with
the
marketing
firms
that
helped
establish
the
direct
mail
campaign...
PAYING
FOR
A
PENAL
OFFENSE:
Lawyers
representing
Paula
Jones
in
her
sexual
harassment
lawsuit
against
President
Clinton
say
his
side
recently
made
a
settlement
offer
and
then
withdrew
it.
Attorney
Donovan
Campbell
Jr.
says
for
a
"brief
period
of
time''
the
two
sides
were
less
than
$200,000
apart
on
resolving
the
lawsuit
before
trial...
GIVING
HER
THE
WILLEYS:
Julie
Hiatt
Steele
of
Richmond,
Va.,
told
President
Clinton's
lawyers
that
she
was
asked
to
lie
about
a
friend's
allegation
that
Clinton
made
a
sexual
advance
in
the
White
House.
The
account
by
Steele
raises
questions
about
the
claims
of
Kathleen
Willey
--
who
reportedly
said
in
a
deposition
that
the
president
made
a
pass
at
her
in
1993.
Ms.
Steele's
lawyer,
John
West,
said
Ms.
Willey
told
his
client,
"It
would
be
okay
if
you
lied...''
AN
AFFAIR
NOT
TO
REMEMBER:
The
New
York
Times
reported
that
lawyers
for
Paula
Jones
have
been
unable
to
find
any
credible
new
witnesses
who
are
willing
to
swear
under
oath
that
they
had
a
sexual
relationship
with
President
Clinton.
"Although
private
investigators
for
Mrs.
Jones
have
crisscrossed
the
country
interviewing
women
rumored
to
have
been
involved
with
the
president,
at
least
five
of
the
women
have
denied
the
rumors
in
pretrial
depositions...
Only
two
have
described
affairs
with
Clinton..."
"WORKING
UNDER
CLINTON"
CAN
MEAN
MORE
THAN
ONE
THING:
The
"London
Telegraph"
is
reporting
that
Paula
Jones'
husband,
Steven
Jones,
says
the
Jones
lawsuit
witness
list
includes
more
than
100
women
who
allegedly
had
sexual
encounters
with
the
president,
either
because
they
were
government
employees
working
under
Mr.
Clinton,
or
because
they
were
allegedly
solicited
for
him
by
police
officers,
or
were
victims
of
coercive
and
predatory
behavior...
PAULA
LEAVES
BILL
HANGING
AGAIN:
President
Clinton's
lawyers
asked
a
federal
judge
to
move
up
Paula
Corbin
Jones'
sexual
harassment
trial,
saying
her
lawyers
had
teamed
with
the
Whitewater
prosecutor
to
destroy
him.
They
argued
the
case
has
become
too
much
of
a
distraction
for
Clinton
to
effectively
run
the
country...
SLEEPING
HER
WAY
TO
THE
MIDDLE:
It
was
revealed
today
that
U.S.
Ambassador
to
the
United
Nations
Bill
Richardson
offered
Monica
Lewinsky,
now
under
suspicion
for
possibly
lying
about
an
affair
with
Bill
Clinton
during
her
testimony
in
the
Paula
Jones
case,
a
job
at
the
U.S.
Mission
in
New
York...
INTERN-AL
AFFAIRS:
Independent
counsel
Kenneth
W.
Starr
has
expanded
his
investigation
of
President
Clinton
to
examine
whether
Clinton
and
his
close
friend
Vernon
E.
Jordan
Jr.
encouraged
a
24-year-old
former
White
House
intern,
Monica
Lewinsky,
to
lie
to
lawyers
for
Paula
Jones
about
whether
the
intern
had
an
affair
with
the
president...
FUN
IN
THE
OVAL
ORIFICE:
Rumors
have
swirled
recently
that
a
21-year-old
intern
was
a
frequent
visitor
to
a
small
study
just
off
the
Oval
Office
where
she
claimed
to
have
carried
on
with
the
president.
Reports
of
the
relationship
began
to
circulate
around
Washington,
and
she
was
moved
to
a
job
at
the
Pentagon,
where
she
worked
until
last
week...
PAULA
PROBES
CLINTON
--
HOW'S
THAT
FOR
IRONY?
President
Clinton
faced
Paula
Jones
for
nearly
six
hours
on
Saturday,
giving
sworn
testimony
on
her
sexual
harassment
lawsuit.
According
to
CBS,
President
Clinton
was
probed
under
oath
about
four
women
who
have
sworn
that
he
made
sexual
advances
towards
them....
Return
to
"All
the
President's
Women."