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THE DAILY HUMP

... from your hero, Rodney Lee

WHY AL GORE WON'T GIVE UP

Is it because he wants to protect democracy?... Is he positioning himself to run in four years?... Does he really care that people are being disenfranchised?... Does he want to make Wubbya's presidency illegitimate??? Nope... I'll tell you why he won't give up:

BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST AND ONLY CHANCE HE'LL GET!

What?

Don't you find it really confusing and creepy that Al Gore is STILL trying to be president? I mean, does ANYBODY think he still has a chance? Even if he wins every single little lawsuit from here on out, just about everyone agrees that between the Supreme Court and the Florida Legislature, George Jr. is in. It's over - surely Gore and his zealots know it...

So why is he still fighting? Isn't it making him look bad? Even Democrats are embarrassed; and the public is really over this - just look to your left. He seems like such a poor loser - and more importantly - just about everyone agrees that he's REALLY hurting his credibility and reputation with the public.

So why this ridiculus legal battle? Yes - there still is a CHANCE that he could be president - but not only is that chance becoming slimmer and slimmer with each passing moment; in the end, the Florida Legislature will take it upon themselves to pick new electors so the State won't risk being ignored altogether - and Bush wins...

That's pretty extreme, but the longer this goes on, the less the public is going to care that the Florida legislature does something extreme to finally shut up these fuckin' Al Gore attorneys. Are they obnoxious, or what?

So WHY, WHY, WHY is Al Gore pressing ahead???

... I'll tell you why, baby!

WHY, WHY, WHY is Al Gore pressing ahead???

The reason is simple: Al Gore won't give up, because this is the one and ONLY chance he will EVER get to be president! This is it, and he knows it!

Al Gore has been eyeing the presidency his entire life. Every single move he has ever made, from going to VietNam, to changing his views on abortions and guns, to his speeches about Elian Gonzales, to pretending he didn't know he was at a Chinese fund raiser, has been totally, and utterly calculated to becoming president.

He was raised in a hotel in Washington DC like a veal. That's why I love it when people describe him as being from Tennesee. Has he ever even been there when he wasn't campaining? Oh yeah, he was a tobacco farmer - sorry - forgot... So did Al Gore...

His dad was a politician. He is a politician. That's the beginning and end of the story.

He's been running for president all his life, and this is his ONLY chance. Why?

President Clinton...

Bill Clinton?

Nope - not THAT President Clinton - I'm talkin' bout Hillary.

President Hillary Rodham Clinton... That's right - it's HILLARY that is making Al Gore drag this thing out.

What the hell are you getting at?

Now that Hillary is Senator-elect Hillary from New York, do you think she's waiting around for a better chance to run for president than she'll have in four years? Forget about it - she's running and Al Gore knows it.

But Rodney Lee, she said she would serve out her full six-year term???

Umm, excuse me, isn't this the same woman who said she turned a thousand bucks into a hundred thousand bucks in a few hours in the cattle futures business - with no help or experience? Please... get real - she's running...

I guess you don't remember that husband Bill made the same promise to Arkansas, then four years later ran and won the presidency? Did anybody make a fuss about that lie? No. Does Hillary remember that? Yes. Will anybody give a shit when she runs that four years before that she promised she wouldn't? No. Did anybody care that people's FBI files magically showed up in her sitting room? No.

Think about it: George Bush Jr. has been President for three and a half years. The economy cannot POSSIBLY be better than it has been, because, well, that's impossible...

And it's time for the Democratic Party to choose somebody to run against the vulnerable George Bush Jr, - someone the press has no doubt been slamming for his entire presidency... You think if Hillary announces her intentions to run, the Democrats are going to want Al Gore instead? HAH!!! They're going to nominate some lifeless chucklehead that already lost once to Junior? You gotta be nuts - it's Hillary all the way...

Don't believe me? What's the first thing she did as Senator-elect? Give up? ... She had a press conference and announced that she would introduce a bill in the Senate that would get rid of the Electoral College!

Now who would benefit from that more than Hillary running for president? Plus - if she waited around eight years, that means she would have to run for the Senate again, or sit around for two years doing who knows what?

And what if in four years, some other Democratic wins the White House? Then she would have to wait ANOTHER eight years? No WAY, BABY!!! Think about it!

(CONTINUED BELOW:)

Rodney Lee checks out ...

... anyway;

... Queen Hillary will be annointed by everyone in the world as the one to run - and Al Gore knows it... She's probably already told him...

THAT'S WHY AL GORE WON'T GIVE UP

By the way, Hillary will win. In a landslide. Why? Because women want a woman president and they don't care how big a witch she is. They'll wote in a record turnout for her. Combine that with 98% of the black vote (I don't get it either) and add that to the white males, who vote liberal - and what do you have?

President Hillary Rodham (the "Clinton" is long gone)... -- Rodney Lee

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