 |
|
|
|
THE DAILY HUMP ...
from your hero, Rodney Lee WHY
EVERYONE IS WRONG ABOUT EMINEM (except me) Attention all parents, right-wingers, do-gooders, critics, pundits, left-wingers, politicians, know-it-alls, teachers, conservatives, liberals, Gary Bauer, Joe Lieberman, Tipper & Rush Limbaugh: Get down on your knees and thank God for Eminem...
WHY WHY WHY??? I'll tell you why... But first, let me get this out of the way: Is
Eminem a punk? Yes. AND HAVING SAID THAT... Is
Eminem an artist, deserving of protection under The Constitution?
YES
- YOU IDIOTS! What are you thinking? Censor Eminem? Stop him from
'singing' whatever he wants to? Stop him from making a living?
To all critics of Eminem: Get on your knees and thank God for him! Is
Eminem a plague - responsible for the corruption of your kids?
No, you jackasses. YOU are responsible for your kids - 'ya numbnuts! If people raised their kids CORRECTLY, punks like Eminem wouldn't even get a record contract. It's because kids who were raised WRONG (white, black, rich, poor,green and everything in between, folks) that he got a contract in the first place - People who become POPULAR get record contracts - not the other way around. You think record execs are smart enough to know what's popular and what isn't? Hah! You obviously have never met anyone in any sort of position of power in Hollywood. They only know what's already popular, and they give those people big - ass contracts and promote their "music". That's how it works, you dingleballs. If people raised their kids CORRECTLY, Eminem and his ilk woud NEVER BE POPULAR, and would never show up on the map, so you could conveniently blame him for your incompetence in child-rearing! How do I know this? I have a 13-year old nephew who was raised CORRECTLY. He knows perfectly well who Eminem is. He's heard the "music". All of his friends have all of Eminem's CD's, they know all the words by heart - Yet - when I ask about Eminem, he looked at me and said "He's a jerk. His CD's are crap. I hate his music. Somebody should kick his ass." Now, this 13-year-old nephew of mine is not some timid, loner, nerd. He's very popular, excels at sports, lots of friends, all the 13 and 14-year-old girls are after him. The difference? He was raised CORRECTLY! The
fact is that you all don't want to admit that we are collectively
raising our kids wrong. That's right - hear it again: Rich,
poor, white, brown, middle-class, whatever - NONE OF YOU know
how to raise kids -
MTV did not make Eminem popular.
The record companies did not make Eminem popular. The devil did not make Eminem popular. The media did not make Eminem popular. Ted Turner did not make Eminem popular. PARENTS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO RAISE KIDS MADE EMINEM POPULAR! ADMIT IT, DAMNIT!!! Heard
enough? Yeah, well the best is yet to come, below:
(CONTINUED BELOW:) OKAY:
If we get rid of Eminem, WHO'S GONNA TAKE HIS PLACE?
... anyway; OKAY - LET'S REALLY GET INTO IT... HERE IT COMES.... STOP - THIS IS YOUR CHANCE... ... Okay, but you have been warned: Eminem
is an artist. Like it or not. What he does can be debated, but
not stopped. What he does is protected under Our Constitution.
That's it. Nothing more. Do you really want to be in the business of preventing people from writing down their thoughts? They
tried to stop Gallileo and Copernicus from writing down thier
thoughts (The Earth is round, revolves around the sun, etc.).
They tried to stop Mathew and Daniel from writing down their thoughts (The Gospel, remember that?). They tried to stop Dean Koontz from... okay, that's a bad exmple - but you get my drift... Don't you??? DON'T YOU??? Before you go off on me comparing Eminem to the above, remember: That's not the point. The point is much larger. The fact is, God sent Eminem here as a warning. Ever think about that whole "God works in strange ways" deal? Well, read on, oh Rodney fan: If God wanted to send us a really, really strong message that we're rasing our kids wrong - how would he do it? If you ask me, Eminem is it. What a more obvious example than Eminem that we're raising these kids poorly? Oh man, I can here you now. "I send my kids to the best school - we go to church - bla bla bla bla bla - Whine, babble, bla bla yada..." Yeah? Well guess what? They still like Eminem. They still want his crappy records. They still made him a zillionaire with Grammy Awards, a potty mouth and a stupid cap. White kids, blue kids, poor kids, yuppie kids, gang members, nerds, cheerleaders, punks, science majors, drop-outs - they dig Eminem! All you fools complaining and wanting to censor Eminem - get on your knees and thank-god for sending him to us. How else would you know how WRONGLY you're raising your kids? BUT RODNEY LEE - WHAT CAN I DO??? Spend
time with your kids. A lot of time. You don't have to talk about
Eminem. Just spend a lot of time with your kids, damnit. And
pretty soon, the subject of Eminem (or something similar) will
naturally come up. Because you spend a lot of time with your
kids, they will look up to you, love you and desire discipline
from you so they can in turn, make you proud of them. At that
moment, tell them what an ass you think Eminem is.... They'll
agree, 'cause they want to be like you! UNTIL
YOU START SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH YOUR KIDS - SHUT UP ABOUT
EMINEM LET THE
HATE LETTERS BEGIN! Click here to send your comments or write me at: rposter@aol.com
"You
won't, f**k with Rodney; 'cause Rodney, will fu**ing kill you..." To pass this article around, send your friends this link: http://www.comedyontap.com/dailyhump/dailyhump.html AND: Encourage them to subscribe to the Comedy On Tap Daily Newsletter below the ex-prez BUT FIRST: WE'RE GONNA MISS BILL CLINTON!!! ARE YOU???
... anyway;
"Comedy
On Tap" has a FREE daily electronic newsletter, delivering the
cutting edge in pop culture, entertainment, political and weird
humor directly to you -- free of charge!
Go to: http://www.comedyontap.com/daily/ IT'S FREE! The contents
of this site copyright
"Comedy On Tap Inc." 2001. All rights reserved. Any reprint or distribution of the material contained herein is expressly prohibited A Word From The President Of The Comedy On Tap Fan Club ps: Phardo is a cracka'-ass cracka'! |
